DREAM GIRL

. 'I meant my dress size, you f****ing idiot!!!'The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrongThese are compliments of MikeyHOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERSActual excerpts from hospital charts(Parenthetical thoughts are mine.)1. The patient refused autopsy. (Wouldn't you?)2. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. (Could be a problem.)3. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. (Really! Someone roll her over.)4. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. (Check under her legging.)5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.She also appears to be depressed. (Ya think?)6. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. (How's that again?)7. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.(Well, I'm glad we've got that timeline straight.)8. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. (Rectal? Thyroid? OMG!)9. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light. .I suppose he must have known that I had grown quite fond of him but I couldn’t quite figure-out why he liked spending so much time with me until I got him onto the subject of sex one night. My suspicions proved right. He knew that I was gay right from the outset; so did his parents, because I had been fairly open about my erstwhile partner, now long gone, but it was only now that David admitted that he was gay too. Actually, the words he used were, “I think I might be gay.” Yeah, well! The trouble was he wasn’t sure because, although he had never had any interest in girls, his only ‘relationship’ was with this other lad, Gavin, who sounded to me pretty messed-up and who was driving David up the wall!David was besotted with Gavin though. Gavin was ‘Mr Wonderful’, in every respect. He had been his best friend at school and they had spent a lot of time together, in class, at each other’s homes, in each other’s room’s, etc. They had “messed around”, as David so coyly put it, but had.
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